Throughout my years studying and living this subject, I have come to some revelations regarding friends and friendships. One, they are not the same thing. You can have many friends but unless you have an exchange with them, you aren’t in a friendship with them. You may be someone’s friend and they not be yours and they may be your friend and you not be theirs.
To have friendships, both parties must reciprocate at some level. I often witness some friends doing all the giving and some friends doing all the taking. But for there to be an actual relationship between friends, called a friendship; both, must give and take. It is possible to be someone’s friend and for them not to be yours; or vice-versa. I used to grimace at the fact of befriending someone only to have them reject me at some point in the future. But now I realize that everyone who comes into my life; it’s for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. So if I feel inclined, I will take the risk at befriending someone.
When I was little, I was taught that if I was going to be a friend to someone, be the best friend they could ever have. I don’t always succeed but when it’s possible, I do my darnedest.
I recognize that everyone in my circle of friends or friendships sharpen me in one way or the other. They challenge me to levels of greatness and humility.
I have also learned that not everyone has the capacity or capability of having a friendship. You may be able to be their friend, but them not be yours. I also recognize that not everyone can love or does love at the same level. The love they emit is directly related to the love they have experienced or have received. If they have never experienced unconditional love, its impossible for them to give it. If they have never realized sacrificial love, its impossible for them to sacrifice at a deep level for anyone.
There will be seasons in life when you will be someone’s friend and then move on to help someone else. This will also happen the other way around, where someone is your friend during a season, then move on to help someone else. When this happens in either circumstance, don’t be offended. It’s a part of the circle of friendship and friends. I was told that if you have one true friendship, you are wealthy. How wealthy are you?
Be a friend to someone, not because of who they are and what they give, but because of who you are and what you can give to them.
Love and laughter,
Corinne
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